A Story

If you cut open my head and took a look at my brain, you'd find thousands of thumb prints from the thousands of people that have left their mark on me. And one day, I'll get the biggest damn shovel I can find and dig the biggest damn grave and put everything I have ever learned from the world in that hole and cover it up.

A Story

There once was a single point that erupted cataclysmically in the largest explosion in history. Dust flew in every direction, and drew together over billions of years. Stars popped into being, and planets began to circle them, drawn in by their massive gravity, but balanced by their own movements. On one, or perhaps a few, of these planets, something happened, no one knows what, and a living creature was born. This particular creature managed to survive and multiply, its descendants crawling up onto dry ground, going through many many changes, over billions of years, eons and ages. And eventually, one of these creatures gave birth to another creature who gave birth to another creature who eventually stood up and looked around, and that continued on for a bit, until one day one particular creature was born, and was named Justin, and he is the reason why you're reading all of this right now.

Not The End

Fantastic, wasn't it? But the story doesn't end there. Oh no, there's a second part too.

The Second Bit Which is Somewhat More Depressing

There once was a group of creatures on a certain planet which orbited a certain star in such a way that the creatures living on the planet were blessed with a large amount of natural, usable resources. They used these to build very big planes and fast cars and televisions and laptop computers and toothpicks and small golden statues they used to give to people that were good at pretending to be people they weren't. All this mucking around with their planet began to take its toll in the form of big grey clouds that made it hard to breathe, and green slimy bits that floated in water, which meant you had to boil and filter everything before using it. It didn't help when the internet was invented, and mind-bogglingly stupid shows came on the television, and some people sat around anyways and got really, really fat, while other people had to pick in the garbage for food because they didn't have a television or a computer to get fat in front of. Also, some of them went crazy and started killing others with machines they had invented that shot small bits of metal, in schools and in churches and in other countries, etc. Some people didn't agree with this and decided to stop them by shooting bits of metal at them.

Also Not The End

There's a third bit too, but that part's really depressing and I don't much feel like writing about it now. Why don't you try?

No? Alright, I'll have a go at it.

The Third Bit

There once was a group of mind-bogglingly stupid, fat creatures that had shriveled up legs because they never used them for anything, and big eyes and hands they used to watch and change TV channels and Youtube videos. They relied on tiny robots to move them and feed them and do their laundry and sing them lullabies when they wanted to sleep. Procreation was limited to two massively obese people squeezing against each other and slapping their chunky bodies together, in the slim chance that things might actually fit and that neither of them had a sexually-transmitted disease. Eventually, they all got so dependent on their technology that when the power went out for a day, millions died because they couldn't remember how to use the toilet, and others died because they forget how to light candles and tripped down the stairs. The sad part was the government had little cameras everywhere spying on people and they were laughing at all of this before their hearts gave out and killed them. The only people left were the ones who were picking through piles of garbage for food, because they didn't have Youtube or American Idol.

The En- No no, wait, that's not right. Let me try again.

The Better Third Bit

There once was a group of creatures that had a couple of problems, but didn't let it get to them. After nailing someone to a tree for suggesting it would be nice if they all got along, they finally got the message and decided that it would be nice if everyone was treated fairly. So they got out more and talked to people in real life, and exercised often, and ate healthy foods, and started walking instead of driving cars around, and took time to look at the stars, and learned how to cook instead of ordering pizza every night, and everyone was better off. The sky was blue and the water was clean and everyone had enough to eat without worrying about getting fat because all natural foods are pretty healthy for you. The people digging through piles of garbage for food only did it for fun after that.

The End

Well then. I liked that ending a lot better than the other one.

Recycling Earth: First Cycle

The soft morning glow from the bedside window spread across the room like a consuming fire. As it crossed her eyelids, Joan groaned loudly and rolled over, pulling her sheets over her head. Yawning, she lay in bed for a few moments, savouring the warmth of her bedsheets, loathe to put her bare feet on the cold carpet and start another day.

The short, loud blips of her alarm clock provoked another groan. Joan tossed herself out of bed with numerous cracks, wincing as the cold hit her body like tiny daggers. She trudged her way across the carpet, blinking away sleep and rubbing her eyes.

"My stupid idea to put the alarm clock on the other side of the room," she muttered to herself in a voice hoarse with fatigue. Slamming a hand down on the button, she stretched out, her grey singlet rising up on her chest as she inhaled deeply. Her green eyes skimmed her bare room, which contained only her necessities, until she spotted her uniform hanging on the back of her desk chair.

A few moments later, Joan slipped into the shower, letting the water run warm rivulets off her body. She ran a hand through her short blonde hair as the water pounded on her head, running down her neck and off the soft curves of her shoulders. Minutes passed as she washed away the sweat and grime that had accumulated during the night, while her mind planned out her daily routine. Water swirled away like a miniature whirlpool as it traveled down the drain into oblivion.

With a twist, she shut off the taps. A final drop of clear water fell from the showerhead, before making a loud echoing plink as it hit the tiled floor. Joan stepped out, drying herself with a fluffy orange towel from the metal rack above the toilet. Wiping the steamed mirror with a hand, she spent a few minutes attending to her hair and makeup before the mirror began to cloud over again. Sighing, she pulled her one-piece uniform on, zipping it up at the front to the neck, fixing the collar, smoothing out wrinkles, and then ran it over with a lint brush before stepped out the door.

The scent of peach soap followed Joan out of the bathroom, lingering in the air like perfume. Her grey tailor-fit uniform swayed on her slender frame as she packed her handbag for work. She made her bed with care, tucking each corner into the sheets and fluffing her pillow. She stepped around the bed for a moment, pulling the sheets straight, then turned to the window. With a hand, she pulled open the blinds and looked out.

The stars were beautiful today. If she wasn't watching for it, the slow rotation of the station would have missed her completely. Straight ahead, she could see the faint orb of the sun, spots speckling its surface, and the black shadow of Mercury as it passed in front. And far overhead, the rest of the space station hung ominously like a crouching machine, an unnatural creation in the natural world.

Although she tried to look away, Joan's eyes moved of their own accord, picking out the one object she never wanted to be reminded of. A black, misshapen rock, tumbling through the cosmos, scarred and blasted, what anyone would call a wasteland. It moved slowly beneath the station, in an odd orbit, as the sunlight glanced off the numerous craters and wounds. She looked at it in longing and distaste. The awkward motion of the former planet, its deep gouges and odd shape - all reminders of failure, of anger and hatred, of the inability to overcome prejudice and darkness. The failure of humanity.

With a sigh, she turned away from the window. There was work to be done.